Listening well has been very difficult for me most of my life.
I would always get distracted from the conversation and start thinking of other things while the other person was talking to me.
This caused me to always want to respond back with something I wanted them to hear instead of following along with the conversation.
Also, it showed other people that I didn’t really care about their presence (even though I did) and would hurt my relationships with people all the time. And then I would wonder why people I knew for the longest time didn’t really enjoy hanging out with me and talking to me.
They must have felt that I was “too good” for them.
But now I’m here to tell you that I have changed this around for myself and have received more attention from my peers and am able to relate better with others, increasing my level of self-confidence from such great non-verbal feedback.
In order to truly understand the other person, we need to LISTEN to what they have to say.
This means putting your phone in your pocket/purse, looking at them to show you’re paying attention, free from all distractions, focused on the topic of discussion, vibing with the other person appropriately, and really letting the words sink in.
This will allow you to respond appropriately, let the other person know you were paying attention, and show that you actually care about what they have to say.
Also, the more you listen, the less you will have to think about what to talk about, since you are active in the conversation. You will have a naturally flowing conversation instead of a choppy discussion.
When engaging in conversation with another person, listen MORE and think LESS.
If you are thinking of what to say next instead of listening to the other person talking, you will miss key points in the conversation, have to ask the other person to repeat themselves, and might say something irrelevant to the topic discussed recently.
If you are actively listening, you will become more relevant to the other person, increase your likeability, and good nonverbal feedback you receive from others will nourish your self-confidence in the long run.
I hope you all enjoyed today’s post and hope you will join me on the journey to self-confidence mastery!
– Steve Daniels
P.S. I would love to hear what you have to say about this post. Feel free to comment below!