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Excellent Assumptions Yield Excellent Rewards

Assuming does not help with building self-confidence, unless you have EXCELLENT assumptions.

Why? Because it leads to a higher quality of life and a higher level of confidence in the long run.

When I was in my early 20s, I would take many things in my life for granted. Things like having the ability to receive a college education from a decent college, having great parents, having money to eat and live on my own, and having genuine friends.

Despite having all of these blessings, I would whine, complain, and bring myself down by thinking about what others have that I don’t.

I never, for a second, thought to myself that there are people in this world that would love to have what I have in my life.

It’s very easy to fall into this trap. It’s easy to blame others, blame external circumstances, blame genetics, and so on and so forth. It’s easy to do these things, but very detrimental to your conscious and subconscious as well as overall self-esteem and self confidence.

On my 22nd birthday, I had been feeling a bit vulnerable, I always did anyways. For some strange reason, I always had a sinking feeling on my birthday, for every birthday before my 23rd.

I would always look forward to my birthday, but then when the time got closer, I started feeling anxious and worried. And I had no idea why.

I had always felt that I wasn’t good enough, fun enough; cool enough to have many good friends join me in celebrating my birthday. I would always blame others for not thinking of me on my birthday and not caring enough to see me in person.

I didn’t think for a second, that maybe the reason people didn’t weren’t able to see me was because I had assumed that on my birthday, the world revolved around me.  I didn’t give them enough heads up for my birthday, made proper birthday plans, and most importantly, I wasn’t excited for my birthday.

This lack of excitement was most likely because of all of my previous birthdays hadn’t gone the way I imagined. But at the end of the day, it was my own fault.

Looking back at this, I know for a fact no one was to blame except for me. And I don’t mean this in an “Everyone is better than me” or “I’m not good enough” kind of way. I am trying to put this in a more objective light.

You see, I had been in a vicious emotional cycle for the majority of my life. I was very reactive to my circumstances, instead of being proactive in my life.

The only way I could change this, was if I changed my mindset and behavior. This way, my external circumstances would favor me more.

By NOT assuming that everyone should know it’s my birthday and be extremely pumped about it, putting out the effort to make proper plans with an appropriate amount of heads up time, and believing that I will have fun and carrying out this fun vibe in my voice tone when calling others, I realized that this drastically changed my results for my future birthdays.

On my 23rd birthday and the birthdays after that, I never felt as depressed because I took these set of actions.

There are many things I had to correct about my character in order to increase the quality of my life along with my long-term happiness.

Lesson of the day:

Stop assuming in a negative way.

This will make you feel down, depressed, anxious, worried, terrified, and maybe even lonely.

Instead of assuming the worst, assume the exact opposite.

For example, let’s say currently you are assuming that people don’t care about you; they don’t want to be around you, and/or people think of you badly.

Instead of assuming this, why don’t you try assuming the following? :

  • People love you just the way you are
  • People love spending time with you
  • People think of you as a great person

This will shift your future thinking, and will show in your actions, the way you carry yourself around others, and how people perceive you.

Let’s say you start assuming AND believing that people love spending time with you and say you meet person #1 and he/she is not really sure how to feel about you since they have never met you, but because you are believing that people love spending time with you, you start to show your fun side of your personality with this person, and they truly end up love spending time with you. This will make you feel great about yourself and increase your self-confidence.

AMAZING, right? I thought so too ; ]

I hope you all enjoyed today’s post and hope you will join me on the journey to self-confidence mastery!

Cheers!

– Steve Daniels

P.S. I would love to hear what you have to say about this post. Feel free to comment below!

Readers Comments (5)

  1. It’s such a simple thing, Steve, yet something I think too easily overlooked: that being, as you put it, “proactive in my life” is so essential to our wellbeing! I really loved the reminder to choose to assume the best that others will experience of me, vs. the worst or even neutral. I think this can apply to earning new clients, putting out blog posts, going to interviews, interacting with friends, colleagues, family. The greatest wisdom for me in this is how it changes, as you so beautifully pointed out, how we behave! If nothing else, THAT changes everything! Yes, Steve, that IS AMAZING!

    Reply
    • Thank you Janice for your appreciation and feedback for my post 🙂 I have another idea that I think will be innovative 😉

      Reply
  2. This is such a beautiful blog Steve and very wise advice to changing your experience before it happens. I actually did this a few years ago, I would always been invited to the pub on a friday and I would imagine that I’d be bored and think of an excuse to leave early. One friday, I was really anxious about going and I decided the only thing that would get me out the door was to think about having a really great time when I was there, that I’d want to stay longer. So I went with the new thoughts aligned to the evening and I had a fantastic time, even when my friend had left, I stayed longer. It was such a brilliant night! It’s a great reminder or even eye-opener to those who are unaware of how their thinking affects their circumstances. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Thank you Emma for your feedback 🙂 I am glad I was able to remind you and possibly someone else to think great thoughts. Thanks for leaving another story behind that shows how powerful it is to have excellent assumptions! 🙂 Your feedback is much appreciated! Cheers!

      Reply

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