Always valuing others highly and never valuing yourself enough lowers one’s self-confidence, self-respect, and respect from others.
I’ve noticed this in my own life many times, but I wasn’t aware of this behavior until someone pointed it out to me.
I would always give in to other people’s opinions and decisions, even if I wasn’t comfortable with them, in fear of them not liking me.
If a friend wanted to go to XYZ restaurant to eat, but I wanted to go to ABC restaurant, I wouldn’t speak up and tell my friend where I wanted to go.
I figured if I just go where he/she wanted to go, they would enjoy themselves more, and if they would enjoy themselves more, then since I was with my friend, they would enjoy my presence as well.
This wasn’t how things turned out at times, though.
If I went to restaurant XYZ and didn’t really like the food deep down inside, I didn’t enjoy myself much, which lead to a sinking feeling inside of me, full of regret that I didn’t have the food that I wanted.
This led to me not having the best time with my friends and going home thinking why my friends were being distant with me, when in reality it was me that was being distant with them, without me being aware of it.
If I valued myself just as much as I valued my friends, I would not only speak up about my preference(s), but I would try to persuade them to go with my preference from time to time.
If I went with my preference, I would have a higher chance of enjoying myself around my friends, and them having a great time as well.
Equality is a give-and-take relationship.
And I had no idea how to have relationship equality in my life.
Always giving into other’s decisions and not going with my gut feeling greatly lowered my self-confidence.
Not thinking of others as equals, but instead viewing them as above me, definitely decreased my self-confidence.
On the other hand, I have always been good with not valuing myself higher than others, which is equally important because if you value yourself too highly, it can lead to you trying to dictating other’s lives and decisions.
If I don’t like being told what to do, why would others?
I slowly realized that I should value myself just as much as I valued my friends.
This led to me being more confident in myself, more comfortable with my identity, and I started to enjoy being around me.
I also treated people with just enough respect so that they don’t start feeling like they’re better than me, started treating them exactly how I would like to be treated, and became fairer in my decision-making skill.
Lesson of the day:
Whether you value yourself less than others or you value yourself more than others, STOP THAT.
Start valuing yourself just as much as others so that you preserve your self-respect, your dignity, your self-confidence, and mental health.
Automatically, over time, your friends and family will start respecting you more when they realize you’re a fair person and you treat others like you want to be treated.
You will be happier as well because others will want to listen to what you have to say, instead of fearing/disrespecting you.
I hope you all enjoyed today’s post and hope you will join me on the journey to self-confidence mastery.
– Steve Daniels
P.S. I would love to hear what you have to say about this post. Feel free to comment below!