Do you ever catch yourself being highly reactive to a lot of different experiences in your life?
I know I did this on a consistent basis for the longest time.
And I always felt terrible inside.
I was uneasy most of the time. I felt very anxious, and I was never truly comfortable with who I was deep down inside.
If someone said something to put me down, I would repeat that person’s words over and over again in my mind, not to mention the fact that I would feel upset right away.
If I received a mediocre grade on one of my tests during college, I would feel like I didn’t deserve to feel good about myself.
I thought it was the end of the world.
If a friend poked fun at me, I would get offended right away, instead of laughing it off and moving on.
If I approached an attractive girl to try and talk to her, and she said she had a boyfriend or flat out rejected me, I would feel unconfident and unattractive right away, instead of believing that it is possible for a guy like me to have a girl like her.
I would start thinking negatively towards myself and blaming my physical appearance.
I blamed my physical appearance a lot actually, when I was young, and now that I think about it, it feels so silly.
Probably because I know better now.
I know that people don’t usually treat others poorly because of the way they look, but because of that person’s deep-rooted beliefs. These beliefs are noticeable in their actions and behavior towards not only others, but also themselves.
I used to feel like I had so many problems in my life and I also felt as if I wasn’t emotionally stable.
My emotions were all over place.
I felt like all of my emotions were being juggled around and I had no control over them.
I would feel a surge of self-confidence if someone gave me a compliment, but I would feel uneasy and would start to doubt myself if no one complimented me throughout the day.
You’re probably thinking by now, “How did he overcome such terrible sensitivity?” and I believe I have a good answer to that.
The way I slowly turned this around, was when I started becoming aware of my emotional sensitivity to external events.
Every time I felt I was being highly reactive to my surroundings, the people I spent time with, and other outcomes in my life, I completely stopped whatever I was doing and thinking.
I took a few long, deep, slow breaths and focused my attention on my breathing.
I continued taking deep breaths for as long as I needed to in order to calm down as well as relax my mind and body.
This helped me to detach myself from what seemed to be “uncontrollable” emotions.
It allowed me to think more logically and helped me to step back from my issues and see them from a more objective point-of-view.
I focused on the following thoughts in order help myself further:
“Other people’s opinions of me should not affect my mood, whether others like me or not.”
“Events in my life, whether good or bad, may affect my mood, but will not define who I am and what I am capable of.”
“No matter what people have to say, I will always do what’s best for me and my loved ones.”
“I will accept everything in my life for the way it is and will focus on the things that I actually have control over.”
“I will do the best that I can in order to make my life more pleasant and more comfortable.”
“I will stop assuming the worst of people, myself, and external conditions.”
“I will start enjoying being around myself more and will have fun, whether people are around or not.”
Lesson of the day:
Whenever you feel like you’re being highly reactive to someone, something, and/or your surroundings, take a moment and realize that you’re feeling this way.
Stop yourself from thinking further negative thoughts, and just take a few deep breaths.
Inhale and exhale very slowly.
Repeat this for as many times as you need to in order to relax your mind and body.
Distract your mind by focusing your attention on your breathing.
The longer you are able to do this, the easier it will become to release yourself from the vicious cycle of negative thinking and highly polarized emotions.
Stop resisting reality and accept everything for the way it is right now.
Start to enjoy being around yourself.
I hope you all enjoyed today’s post and hope you will join me on the journey to self-confidence mastery.
– Steve Daniels
P.S. I would love to hear what you have to say about this post. Feel free to comment below!